


Think, Don't Assume

by pessimisticprose



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Matchmaker!Kise, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Near Future, Oblivious Kise, Pining, Sexual Tension, Takao Wears Booty Shorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-30 00:22:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3916189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pessimisticprose/pseuds/pessimisticprose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise plays matchmaker for everyone except himself. It goes splendidly, until it doesn't. </p><p>(alternately titled 'the pining!everyone fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Think, Don't Assume

**Author's Note:**

> hey, guys! I'm the author of the aoki 30 day challenge that cluttered the tags for a month. Welcome to my actual writing that's not aomine being the bottom omg
> 
> Pairings are in the tags! Aokaga is not endgame, so it's not tagged. Kagami's pretty much a single pringle in my fics. Sorry guys.
> 
> Messages from my friend about this fic:  
> NOT GOING THERE?  
> Y NOT GOING THERE????  
> C'mon you gay nerd  
> kISS HIM ALREADY  
> COME ON  
> THE OBLIVIOUSNESS 
> 
>  
> 
> Indeed.

_Kise doesn’t always feel like he’s a part of the team. Yeah, he’s a great basketball player and he deserves his spot on the Generation of Miracles just as much as the rest of them, but they’ve been a team longer than him. He’s talented, sure, but he’s not their friend. He’s just a teammate._

***

They all play basketball sometimes, now that they’re finished with their first year of high school. It’s not like how it used to be, dominated by Akashi and lacking teamwork. They bring friends and their teams basically compete in huge pickup games on steroids. Midorima and Takao come, Murasakibara brings Himuro, pretty much all of the seconds years from Seirin come, Kagami and Kuroko come together because why wouldn’t they, Akashi shows up alone, Kise comes with Kasamatsu sometimes, even Aomine brings Imayoshi and Momoi to their games now and then. Their games are usually watched by people at whatever court they decide to go to, but every single player is familiar with being watched.

Kise watches them. Sometimes it’s nice not being integral to their friendships, because it allows him to see the secret glances Kuroko and Akashi send each other. He can pick up on the blatant sexual tension radiating off of Takao when Midorima’s around. He’s not oblivious to the way Himuro pines after Murasakibara, unlike the giant who doesn’t notice a thing. He’s definitely not surprised when Kuroko informs him that Hyuuga and Kiyoshi have been fucking for months, but they’re still not together. Hell, he even picks up on Kasamatsu’s longing gazes at Imayoshi’s bare torso on particularly hot days when they all take their shirts off and the former third years are both present.

Kise decides that this is the summer. He’s going to make himself useful and help everyone get their shit together.

 

Himuro and Murasakibara

Kise realizes that he knows next to nothing about Himuro. They’ve been hanging out in the same circle for weeks and he’s never even said more than a general hello and goodbye to him. He seems like he’s pretty nice, though. He’s never rude and he dotes on Murasakibara. He brings him snacks and Pocari Sweat and gives him towels and has even brought him shirts for when he sweats through one of his.

“Hey,” Kise says one day, sitting down beside him on the bench. Everyone’s playing and shouting, like it’s an official match. Akashi looks furious that Kagami avoided falling for the Emperor Eye. Kise snorts.

“They’re something,” Himuro says, more to himself than Kise. He glances at Kise. “Was it hard to get used to them?”

“Kind of. I felt like an outsider. Their talent is overwhelming sometimes. Especially Aominecchi! He’s already being looked at by universities!”

Himuro chuckles. “You sound like a proud parent, Kise.”

“ _Me_? I’m just excited. I probably won’t play basketball in university. Will you?”

“Probably not. I like basketball a lot, but I want to be a writer.” Himuro smiles–a soft, shy smile that lights up his entire face–and looks at Kise with such a scrutinizing expression that Kise wants to shrink away. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll probably model internationally.” Kise leans back and looks up at the sky. “I mean, it’s stable and makes good money. I really like math, though. I’d love to go to school for math.” When Himuro stays silent, he looks over. He looks confused, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle. “What?”

“I just– You don’t peg me as a math person.”

“Most people would agree with you. I’m an airhead, Himurocchi,” Kise says, winking. When Himuro doesn’t say anything else, Kise jumps to his feet, stretching out his lower back. “Let’s exchange numbers and hang out sometime!” Kise suggests.

“Yeah, sure,” Himuro replies. Kise walks back into the fray, taking his place beside Kasamatsu. The sun’s hot, pounding down on his shoulders. Kise lifts the hem of his loose tank top so he can wipe the sweat off of his forehead.

Aomine misses a shot.

Kise laughs, yelling out, “Better step it up, Aominecchi! ‘Specially if you want to beat me at Inter-High this year.”

***

Himuro and Kise do exchange numbers before everyone separates that evening. Murasakibara looks deeply skeptical and Kise smirks to himself. On the walk home, Himuro will probably tell Murasakibara that he and Kise hit it off and Murasakibara will seethe quietly until he pushes Himuro against a wall and kisses him.

Himuro shows up at the next game with a barely-there hickey that’s only visible when his collar shifts too far to the right and Kise smirks. Murasakibara did make a move, if his extra attention towards Himuro is indicative of anything.

Too easy, Kise thinks to himself.

 

Midorima and Takao

Takao isn’t subtle with how much he wants to get into Midorima’s pants _at all_. Kise can practically swim in Takao’s lust. Fuck, he could drown in it. He’s actually spoken to Takao before this stupid matchmaking gig, so he has his number.

Kise also happens to be extremely lucky.

_Takao(・ω・): kise!!!!!~ can u do me a huge favor i need an extra pair of shorts for tonight i forgot mine and im already on the train_

Kise chuckles to himself and sends him the affirmative. He proceeds to pick the shortest, tightest shorts he has. It’s entirely accidental. He practices his shocked face the entire train ride there, which probably looks strange to everyone else. When he finally shows up at the court, Takao looks relieved. Kise almost feels sorry for him, but it’s all in the name of love, he swears.

Kise pulls them out of his bag and hands them to Takao, who bounces off to change. “I was on my way out the door and in a hurry! Sorry I’m late, everyone!” They play for a few minutes, just passing the ball back and forth and making conversation before there’s an outraged cry from the public restroom Takao went in. Midorima’s head snaps over and everyone else looks concerned.

Takao’s head pops out of the door and his eyes find Kise like a heat-seeking missile. “Kise! What the hell?”

Kise tries to cover his laughter, but to his eternal delight, he keeps his face schooled into a confused expression. “Takaocchi?”

“These _shorts_ ,” he cries in anguish.

“Takao, stop with this foolishness and come join in the game,” Midorima snaps, tossing a ball carelessly in the direction of the net. It goes in, but no one’s really watching. “You’re holding everything up.”

“Kise brought me _booty shorts_ ,” Takao nearly shrieks. Everyone’s heads snap to Kise, who has to give it his all so he doesn’t start rolling around and laughing. He tries to look shocked, but really, he’s desperate to contain his laughter.

“You own booty shorts?” Kuroko asks, raising an eyebrow.

“You don’t?” Kise retorts.

Takao steps out of the restroom and waves his arms at his thighs, which are barely covered in tight black fabric. “I can’t play basketball in these!”

“Girls play volleyball in less,” Akashi says dismissively. “We’re holding up the game. Let’s resume now.” As usual, his word is final and they mostly pick up where they left off. Mostly excluding Midorima, who’s looking at Takao like he’s poisonous. He keeps clenching and unclenching his fists like he doesn’t know what do to with himself. Kise elbows him and attempts to look apologetic.

They start playing again and whenever Takao bends or puts his hands on his knees to catch his breath, everyone behind him kind of freezes up. It renders half of the court motionless for most of the game, because Takao’s ass is _nice_. His thighs are muscular and sculpted, but his ass is round and pert and even Kise wants a piece of that. He’s not sure if he’s horny or jealous that his ass looks that good in Kise’s shorts. Kise doesn’t even think _his own ass_ looks those good in those shorts and they're _his_.

“Those are yours?” Aomine croaks to Kise at one point, staring at Takao. He looks red in the face and he’s breathing a little too heavily for just assisting Kagami in a dunk.

“Yeah,” Kise pouts. “I don’t look nearly as good in them.” Aomine makes a noise like he’s dying and Kise sighs. “Oh well. At least _someone_ benefits from my impulse purchase.” Another dying noise. Kise gives Aomine a sharp glance. “Yes, he looks better than me. Stop that.”

“That’s not what I–“

“Kise!” Takao growls, stomping up to him and pointing a finger up at him. “You did this on purpose!”

“I was in a hurry and grabbed the first thing in my closet!”

Takao, exasperatedly, says, “Why are _booty shorts_ the first thing in your closet?”

Aomine sounds like he’s having trouble breathing. The urge for Kise to roll his eyes is so great he almost does. Kise catches a glance of Midorima over Takao’s shoulder.

Midorima looks like he’s also having trouble breathing, but that might be because he has a very, very obvious nosebleed. Kise tilts his head towards Midorima and Takao makes a worried noise. “You’re welcome,” Kise breathes in his ear, sauntering off with a sway of his hips to go talk to Hyuuga and Kiyoshi. There’s a frustrated noise from behind him and Kise just smirks. He feels like a champion.

Halfway through the game, Midorima excuses himself and drags Takao away. Kise erupts into a fit of laughter while he has the ball and Akashi threatens to cut off his hair with a pair of scissors he brandishes from his pocket. Kise passes the ball to Kagami and clutches at his abdomen, laughing so hard he doubles over. Everyone except Kagami, who’s mid-air for a dunk, stares at him like he’s gone insane.

When Takao gives him the shorts back, not without a positively shameful expression painted on Midorima's face that makes Kise want to squeal with glee, there’s a small white stain on the outside. Kise doesn’t know if he feels horrified or ecstatic, but there’s some kind of hysteria bubbling in his stomach. 

 

Akashi and Kuroko

This one may be a little more difficult. Akashi terrifies Kise and he’ll probably be able to tell if Kise starts meddling in his business. Plus, if Kise tries to make Akashi jealous he’ll probably amputate one of Kise’s limbs. On the other hand, if Kise tries to get close to Akashi to make Kuroko jealous, he won’t be able to read Kuroko’s expression. He’s fairly certain that Kuroko would also be quite capable of hurting him if he gets close to Akashi.

So he goes to the only person he can think of.

“Aominecchi,” Kise greets when Aomine answers the phone. “I need a big favor.” He glances up out the window of the plane. He’ll have to make it quick since they’re taking off soon for Beijing, where Kise has a three day shoot.

“I’m busy right now,” Aomine hisses, voice cracking through the receiver. He does sound really busy, Kise admits, but it’s important.

“How did you and Kuroko start dating in junior high?” There’s a loud bang on the other side and Kise pulls the phone away from his ear while Aomine swears and tries to fix whatever he’d been working on. Tentatively, Kise says, “Aominecchi?”

“Where the _fuck_ is this coming from?” Aomine yells. “That was like three years ago. What the hell, Kise? Are you still trying to get with him? You know he’s mooning over Akashi. It’s obvious. C’mon, Kise.”

“Whatever. Please just tell me.” Kise twirls his pencil and finishes factoring another problem. He makes quite a bit of money doing summer school work for kids who flunk their math classes. He even does some chemistry, if he’s feeling up to it. He has some in his bag for an advanced student who wants to focus more on Japanese over the summer when he’s done with the math.

Aomine doesn’t sound happy to be talking about this with Kise. “We kind of just– I confessed. He confessed back. It’s not a love story or anything. We didn’t really last long.”

Kise hums thoughtfully. Akashi expects Kuroko to always be there. If Kise starts diverting his attention to other players, maybe Akashi will become frustrated. It sounds too simple for the genius to not figure out though. Kise really has to have a creative approach for this match.

“Why didn’t you last long?” Kise questions. He simplifies a basic radical and wants to hit his head off of the desk. This is so easy he can’t really imagine someone not passing a math class like this.

“You know why, baka,” Aomine grunts. Oh yeah, the whole ‘I’m better than everyone else so I’m not going to practice’ thing. That really killed the whole Aomine and Kuroko thing. Kise clicks his tongue. “Kise, you don’t have a chance with Kuroko.”

“I know,” Kise murmurs absentmindedly. He bites his lip as he finishes the last problem of the assignment. “I just want to make him happy, you know?”

Akashi already likes Kuroko and Kuroko has feelings for Akashi, too. It’s not like Murasakibara and Himuro or Midorima and Takao, where one of them was oblivious to their feelings and Kise had to give them a little nudge. If they wanted a nudge, they’d already be together. Maybe it’s not making Akashi notice Kuroko so much as making him scared of losing him. Not just his attention being on other players, but maybe he has to _scare_ Akashi into telling Kuroko his feelings. The thought of Akashi being scared makes Kise want to laugh, but he belatedly remembers that he’s on the phone.

Aomine is silent for a long moment when he just growls, “Baka.” He hangs up after that.

“Rude,” Kise comments. It really was good timing though, because a few seconds after the flight attendant comes over to ask him to power down his cell phone for takeoff.

Now Kise has to figure out how to scare Akashi into thinking Kuroko is hurt or missing. Maybe it’s a little drastic, but Kise really just wants everyone to be together and happen, so a little pain now won’t hurt in the long run. Even if Akashi finds out and hurts Kise, he’ll be making his friends happy, so that’s all that matters.

  
***

“Let’s go out shopping Friday,” Kise suggests to Kuroko on Wednesday night. The phone call is much less awkward than Kise was anticipating.

“Kise-kun, we have the game on Friday night. We always have the game on Friday night. You know that.”

“Hold still, Ryou-chan.” His stylist, Miki, runs the comb through his hair one last time and manhandles his head up so she can put eyeliner around his eyes.

“We need to change up the routine, Kurokocchi!” Kise says with apparent delight in his voice. It’s true, they do need to change up the routine. He looks up when Miki points towards the ceiling.

“I already told Akashi we could go get a meal before the game though,” Kuroko says. He sounds thoroughly distraught for a typical Kuroko response Kuroko. His voice even has a hint of a whine at the end.

Kise pouts in the mirror as his stylist frowns at him. “Okay. Never mind. I gotta go, Kurokocchi!”

“Goodbye, Kise-kun.”

“Finally off the phone with your boyfriend,” Miki snorts. She points towards the ceiling again. “Look up, for God’s sake. You’re wearing a leather jacket for this shoot. You need more goddamn eyeliner.”

While Miki puts Kise’s eyeliner on, he thinks about a different approach for Kuroko and Akashi. Maybe if he says he heard a rumor that Kuroko went on a date loudly enough for Akashi to hear, it’ll spur some kind of response in Akashi. Kise might as well try it.

Before he realizes what he’s doing, he snaps a selfie of himself in the leather jacket and eyeliner and texts it to Aomine. Just to prove he’s not a pretty boy. He’s manly as fuck.

_Daiki(✿ฺ◕ฺ‿◕ฺ): you look pretty kise_

Kise hates it when Aomine makes fun of his looks. He glowers at his phone screen for a long time trying to formulate a response, right up until they call for him to join them on set. He puts his phone on his chair and strides over to where the photographer is. He can deal with Aomine’s mean comments later.

***

He gets home exhausted from summer school Friday afternoon. He had a really rough Japanese test final and he's just glad he's finally done with his summer work, minus the advancement work for his math classes. All Kise wants to do is collapse in his bed and sleep for a few hours, so that’s exactly what he does.

When he wakes up, he’s already late to their game. Kise fumbles for his phone and he has two texts from Kuroko, one from Kagami, and a missed call from Aomine. He dials Aomine’s number and falls forward onto the pillow face first. Kise has a headache. He may as well skip this week and try to get some rest for his early morning shoot tomorrow.

“Kise, where the hell are you?” Aomine’s rough voice says in his ear. For some reason (Kise chalks it up to exhaustion), he shivers.

“Sorry, Aominecchi. I had a really rough day of school and I fell asleep. I have a shoot early tomorrow morning, too. Hopefully my headache goes away.” His voice is muffled into the pillow, but Aomine can probably understand well enough.

“Do you need anything?” Aomine asks. His voice is much gentler than it was only a few seconds ago. Kise wants him to say something else like that.

Kise whines and shakes his head. “No, I’m okay. I just need to get some sleep. Win for me tonight, Aominecchi,” Kise says, without thinking. He does want him to win though. Kise’s too tired for this. He feels pleasantly buzzed and dopey from talking with his friend.

“This is Akashi,” a smooth voice says. “Why are you not here?”

“I was sleeping,” Kise says, calm happiness induced by Aomine immediately gone. It’s like cold water was thrown on him.

Akashi tuts, but he doesn’t scold Kise. “I hope you feel that your endeavors were more important that our previous engagement.” Akashi, then, hangs up. Kise winces and stares at his home screen. He rolls his eyes and tosses his phone to the other side of the room to get some more sleep.

When he wakes up, he has four texts from Aomine, two apologetic and two inquiring about his health. A soft smile plays on the corners of Kise’s lips as he replies.

***

Realization hits. “Spin the bottle!” Kise cries, right in the middle of his conversation with Kagami.

“E-Excuse me?” Kagami asks with a dumbstruck expression on his face. “What does that have to do with the Meteor Jam?”

“Do you only think about basketball?” Kise sneers. “We have to play spin the bottle!”

“Y-Y-You and me?! Kise–“

“No! Not you and me! All of us!” Kise snaps his fingers and cackles with glee. “It’s perfect.”

***

It takes _quite a bit_ of convincing to get the entire group to skip basketball and have a game night, but Kise lures them in with the promise of food, video games, and it helps that it’s predicted to rain that Friday. Akashi looks displeased with the entire situation, but Kise is thrilled. This is his chance.

“Let’s play spin the bottle,” Kise suggests to the group at large.

“That’s a horrible idea,” Midorima says. He’s not near Takao, but Kise sees his eyes slide over to where the other teenager is standing and he rolls his eyes affectionately. These guys are idiots, but they’re what he has to work with.

Kise has two options tonight. Someone else is going to kiss either Akashi or Kuroko and someone will get jealous or they’ll kiss each other and they’ll hopefully get their shit together on their own. Kise isn’t getting them together he’s just…nudging them. All of them. He’s _facilitating_ the relationship.

Kise stands behind Aomine and Kagami, who look fairly cozy together on an oversized beanbag chair. Kise’s expression twists like he tasted something sour and shakes it off. It sounds wrong, but maybe after he’s done with Akashi and Kuroko he’ll work on getting Aomine and Kagami together.

“We’re all playing spin the bottle in the living room,” Kise says. He puts his hand on Aomine’s shoulder as he walks past, letting himself feel the muscle under the t-shirt. He’s never wanted to feel how strong his friends are before, so he’s unsure why he does now, but the urge is there and he can’t resist.

Kagami looks over his shoulder and glares. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Kise winks and saunters off, offering Kagami a nice view of his ass if he wants to take it. When he looks back, both of them are following him, leaving their video game paused during a heavy combat mission.

When the entire group is sitting in a circle, most of them are pouting.

“This is stupid,” Kagami complains.

“And foolish, in fact,” Midorima agrees.

“So who’s spinning first?” Kise asks. He tries to sound excited, but he really doesn’t feel like trying to keep up appearances tonight. He just wants to be happy with his friends.

“Me, I guess,” Himuro says. He shrugs at Murasakibara and spins the empty bottle. It rotates for a long time until it eventually lands on Kagami. Himuro looks up and sighs to the heavens. “What the fuck?” Himuro groans and is seemingly resigned to his fate. He crawls across the space in between them and plants a kiss on Kagami’s lips before Kagami can even stop gaping at him.

“There. Atsushi,” Himuro says, motioning to Murasakibara, who’s sitting clockwise from Himuro. He spins the bottle and it lands on Midorima. They both look pained as they lean in, to Takao’s delight. He snaps a picture and shows it to Kiyoshi.

They play for a long time, just going in the circle. Midorima kisses Kise, Aomine kisses Kagami, Murasakibara and Hyuuga experience the most awkward lip-lock ever, and then it’s Kise’s turn to spin. He gives the bottle a good spin and it lands directly on Akashi. They stare at each other for a moment, Akashi passive and Kise not parsing, before Kise whips out the million dollar model smile and grins at Akashi. This is his chance.

“Akashicchi! My hero,” Kise teases. He clutches his heart and pretends to swoon.

“Please be serious about taking my first kiss, Ryouta.”

Kise’s heart plummets somewhere near the ground. This is _not_ how the night was supposed to go. He doesn't want to be responsible for Akashi’s first kiss! “Your first kiss?”

“I just said that.” Akashi gives Kise a contemptuous smile, sparking a healthy dose of fear in Kise.

“But your first kiss should be someone you have feelings for!” Kise cries. He regrets his first kiss too much to have his friends feel the same regret. The girl just came up to him and kissed him without even asking! He’s only kissed one person since, and it happened the exact same way. He wants to actually kiss someone. Kise understands what Akashi means.

Akashi frowns. “Yes, if I appreciated your company as even a friend I may be more amiable.”

“Akashi-kun, that was unnecessary,” Kuroko chastises. He puts his hand on Akashi’s knee where it’s jutting out from sitting cross legged on the floor.

The atmosphere changes drastically. Akashi no longer seems angry. He’s looking at Kuroko with a kind of fondness and affection that none of them have ever seen on Akashi’s face, least of all Kise. He puts a hand on Kuroko’s cheek. Kuroko, however shocked he may be, doesn’t pull away. His eyes are wide, but he keeps his hand on Akashi’s knee. If anything, he ends up leaning farther towards Akashi.

“May I?” Akashi asks. When Kuroko nods, Akashi leans in and brushes their lips together for only a few seconds. It’s chaste, but when Akashi pulls away, Kuroko chases after him with his lips. They connect again and it’s more desperate this time. Kise sees tongues and he wants to look away, but he finds that he _can’t_.

Kise leans over and whispers, “It’s like watching a car crash. You can’t look away.”

Aomine nods and murmurs, “Agreed.”

Someone, probably Midorima or Hyuuga, clears their throat and Akashi finally pulls away. Kuroko looks dazed and he’s smiling at Akashi, a soft, sweet smile that makes even Kise happy just from seeing it. Even Akashi looks softer around the edges, crinkles by his eyes not as tight and mouth drawn into a smaller frown than normal.

Akashi then turns to Kise. “Forgive me. It was rude and unfair to be angry at you for something out of your control and I spoke without thinking, however, I would rather abstain from kissing you in favor of kissing my boyfriend. If you’ll excuse us, we’re going to go upstairs now. I know where your guest room is.” With that, Akashi pulls Kuroko upstairs while everyone watches, speechless.

Kise wants to fist pump. Three couples down, three to go.

“Who wants popcorn?” Kise says joyfully, just as thunder roars outside.

 

Kiyoshi and Hyuuga

Kise’s been pretty successful so far. He only has to match up Kiyoshi and Hyuuga, Kasamatsu and Imayoshi, and Aomine and Kagami, but he’s not even sure if he should match them up because his stomach kind of hurts when he thinks about it, for some reason. Kise’s not entirely sure about Imayoshi and Kasamatsu, either. Kasamatsu’s never given him any hints that he might be into boys at all. Hell, he’s never even seemed into girls.

Kise has to concentrate. Right now he’s working on Kiyoshi and Hyuuga, which will admittedly be difficult. He’s not really friends with either one of them. They’re just present when he plays basketball and they’re both skilled. That’s about it. He respects them.

According to Kuroko, they’re already having sex, but they’re not dating. Kise knows from experience that friendships with benefits don’t work, usually because one person has feelings for the other that aren’t reciprocated. He’s never been in a relationship like that, but Miki has and she used to rant about it while straightening his hair for a shoot. He knows they usually end with a broken heart and friendship.

So he starts planning. He can’t directly intervene, because he doesn’t know either of them. The best way would probably be to get Hyuuga to see his feelings for Kiyoshi. He’s such a tsundere that Kise’s certain he’s the one that doesn’t reciprocate Kiyoshi’s feelings. He’ll start his attack on Friday. He’s not really sure what he’ll do, but he’ll have to make Hyuuga realize his feelings.

***

Kise tries for an indirect approach.

“You and Kiyoshicchi seem close. How long have you been friends?”

A suspicious look. “Since the start of high school.”

“That’s it?” Kise asks, genuinely shocked. He wasn’t lying–they seem very close. With good reason probably, since they’re fucking each other.

“I hated him until halfway through though. Long story,” Hyuuga says. They’re standing off to the side, watching Akashi knock Kagami down with his Ankle Breaker. Even after going against the eye, it’s hard to break past sometimes.

“That’s really surprising. You seem like childhood friends. Do you hang out often?”

Hyuuga gives him another suspicious glance. “Yeah. Most nights. Why do you care?”

“I just wish I had a relationship like that with someone. I’m not really close friends like that with anyone and it seems really nice. I’d like that.” Kise sighs wistfully and his eyes scan the court. If his gaze rests on Aomine a little longer than normal, no one but him will know. “You’re really lucky to have someone like him, Hyuugacchi.”

“I know,” Hyuuga says. The corners of his eyes go soft and his features melt into complete happiness when he looks out at Kiyoshi on the court. “I really am.”

It’s obvious that Hyuuga has feelings for Kiyoshi. The only thing Kise can think is _oh god, Kiyoshi is the one that doesn’t reciprocate._

***

Kise has no idea what to do now. He can work with a tsundere–he deals with Midorima regularly. But if Kiyoshi already sees him naked there’s really no point in making him look hot. Hyuuga probably looks the most lewd during sex and Kiyoshi’s seen it. Kise shudders a little, but this is for his team’s happiness, dammit. He’ll do what he has to do.

So he buckles down. How do you make a charming, friendly, wonderful guy who’s a total puppy fall in love with the guy he’s fucking? There’s no manual on this, because it’s such a ridiculous situation that Kise wants to hit his head on the desk.

Actually, that’s not a bad idea. He promptly hits his head on the desk, then resumes thinking about it.

Maybe he has to plant a seed in Kiyoshi’s mind. If one day he innocently asks him if they’re dating, maybe that’ll be the tip off for Kiyoshi to realize his own feelings. It feels a little risky being so direct, but Kise’s willing to try.

The next time they’re all together, it’s when they meet up on a Thursday to discuss training camps with their respective schools. Kise has a three week camp–the longest out of everyone in the group. He knows he could really lose progress with Kiyoshi and Hyuuga if he’s away for three weeks, but there’s really nothing he can do.

“When do you have camp, Kagamicchi?” Kise asks the redhead, who’s sitting beside him and eating his fifteenth burger and Midorima and Aomine watch on with vague disgust in their expressions.

“We’re leaving Sunday and coming back in two weeks,” Kagami says around a mouthful of burger, so it comes out more like “weer leafin’ ‘undah ’n’ comin’ bak ’n ‘wo weefs.”

“That’s disgusting,” Midorima growls. Kagami just hums happily and keeps eating.

When they leave the group meeting, Akashi suggests some basketball and Kise’s really, really not feeling up to it tonight. He had a photoshoot today early that morning and it was awful. The director kept making him go through outfit change after outfit change so he had no time to eat and he forgot money in his bag, so he hasn’t eaten all day. He’s starving and just wants to get home and get some rest.

“Sleeping is more important than basketball, then?” Akashi says, voice dangerous.

And that’s how Kise ends up staying for two more hours, ready to collapse from exhaustion and hunger.

When they’re all getting ready to leave, Kise slides up to where Kiyoshi is packing his bag alone. “Kiyoshicchi,” Kise greets.

“Oh. Hey, Kise.” Kiyoshi doesn’t spare him a second glance as he immaculately folds his sweaty shirt and even his socks.

“You know, I couldn’t help but notice how close you and Hyuuga are,” Kise says. He notices that Kiyoshi pauses from his methodical folding, but he’s back to it before Kise can smirk. “Are you two dating?” Kiyoshi whirls and he points a finger down at Kise. He’s stammering and blushing and he’s kind of adorable. Kise wants to hug him in that moment. Kiyoshi’s a total sweetheart.

“W-W-What– Why– We’re not dating!” Kiyoshi’s face is even redder than before. Kise wants to reach up and pinch his cheeks.

He feigns surprise. “Oh! Really?”

When Kiyoshi looks down at his bag again, he looks regretful. His entire demeanor changes very quickly. Kise feels a little dizzy from it, actually. “Really,” Kiyoshi says bitterly. “It’s a long story. We’re just not like that.”

“Huh. You two seem really close for being just friends.”

“Yeah. Just friends,” Kiyoshi echoes. He swings his bag up onto his shoulder and when Kise meets his eyes again, he looks blank and also dejected at the same time. Kise’s impressed with how well he can express himself with only his face. He excuses himself from the restroom.

What Kise also realizes is that these idiots are ass over tit for each other and they don’t even realize it. He can’t believe two people can be so stupid. It’s _really_ not that hard to notice when someone has feelings for you.

“Oi, Kise! I’ll treat you to some food. I know you haven’t eaten all day, baka,” Aomine calls into the restroom where Kise’s changing.

Kise smiles and calls, “One minute, Aominecchi!”

Kise sighs. He’s on a team of idiots.

***

Now that he knows a little more, he can pretty much piece together what really happened between them. They probably started a friendship with benefits and then developed feelings. It was that or they began the arrangement with feelings they refused to tell each other. Kise reads a lot of shoujo manga–he’s an expert.

Now he has to figure out how to get one of them to confess. Kise twirls his pen in his fingers and stares at the blank paper for his essay. He should really get Kagami or Himuro to help him with his English at some point.

“Turn in your essays at this time,” the teacher says in accented English. It's his last day of summer school, thankfully. Kise looks down at his blank page and resists the urge to smash his face into the desk. He has a shoot in a few days and he can’t have bruises anyway.

Kise stares out the window during most of the remaining half hour of English. He thinks about Hyuuga and how it’s more likely that Kiyoshi would confess than Hyuuga. Maybe jealousy would work against Hyuuga. Kiyoshi seems like the kind of guy who would give up his own happiness for others. Maybe he could ask their coach, Aida Riko. It seems like a bit of a stretch, but jealousy doesn’t work on everyone.

Kise goes to the Seirin gym that night to shoot some three pointers after their practice has already let out. As he predicted, Aida Riko is still in the gym going over data of other players.

“Kise? What are you doing here?” she asks, looking up from the papers around her.

“I was in the area and I wanted to shoot,” Kise says. He loosens his tie and takes off his jacket. It’s too tight around his shoulders to shoot properly. He rolls his sleeves up to his forearms and pushes his hair back, too.

He shoots for a while and they share the gym in a companionable silence. Riko looks focused on her papers and Kise’s not really trying, sinking shot after shot with Midorima-like accuracy.

“Okay, there’s a reason I’m here,” Kise finally says. “I’m just going to be direct.”

“All right,” Riko says, setting her clipboard aside. “Go on.”

“I need you to help me get Hyuuga and Kiyoshi together.”

Riko visibly starts and then begins laughing at the top of her lungs. She laughs until tears are streaming down her face. Kise tries to ask again and she just keeps laughing. Finally, after a good five minutes, Riko calms down enough to wipe the tears from her cheeks and manages to calm herself from hysterics to only chuckling.

“Kise, you’ll never get them together. What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past year? They’re hopeless.”

“Why don’t we work together?” Kise asks. When Riko looks at him with an extremely grateful expression on her face, he knows they’re going to find a way to pull through.

They start texting frequently. Together, they come up with failed plan after failed plan. The texts turn to frustrated messages when they’re being particularly horrible at practice (from Riko) or look particularly disheveled when they arrive at a pick up game (from Kise and Riko). Texts turn into meals spent over these two idiots. After a few weeks, Kise would consider Riko a close friend.

She walks him to the court that Friday and when they part she calls, “Make some progress today, baka!” It’s playful and Riko gives him a bright smile as he waves and walks onto the court.

“Oi, Kise! Be on my team today. I traded Kagami for you.” Aomine shouts across the court, as soon as he spots Kise. He jogs over to him and wow, Aomine’s lit up. His face is soft and he’s smiling, which honestly looks strange on his face to Kise. His eyes are practically sparkling. Kise’s chest tightens. Aomine’s really handsome.

It hits Kise then that this is Aomine when he’s coming out of The Zone. Kise twists around to see Kagami doubled over and trying to catch his breath on the side of the court, Kuroko at his side like a mother hen. Kagami’s really the only one that can challenge Aomine anymore. _That’s_ why Aomine wants Kise on his team–so he can actually play against someone that can challenge him, unlike Kise. Kise scowls and he wants to hit something. It hurts more than he thought it would. 

“Oh,” is all Kise says.

Aomine’s happy expression slides right off his face, replaced with something akin to concern. It’s almost genuine, Kise thinks bitterly. “Kise?”

“Are you two done?” Midorima asks. He stands beside Kise and hands him the ball. “You need practice with the tip off.”

“Ouch, that hurts, Midorimacchi!” Kise cries, always one for dramatics. He puts his hand on his heart and Midorima only pushes his glasses up as a response.

He feels horrible after his exchange with Aomine. It hurts knowing that he plays basketball to eventually become as good as Aomine one day and he can’t even register on Aomine’s radar. Sometimes he wonders how it would be today if Aomine never hit him in the head with a basketball.

Kise goes up against Kagami for the tip off. He doesn’t really have a chance, but he does graze the ball. It’s an improvement from the last time he tipped off against Kagami, so Kise accepts it for what it is. With Akashi and Aomine on his team, the game really does go smoothly, regardless of Kagami’s might or Midorima’s killer three pointers.

Kise’s off, though. He stumbles through a few plays and when he does make shots, he only copies Midorima and doesn’t follow through with a pass. He can tell Akashi is getting more and more frustrated with him as time goes on.

“Ryouta, if you’re just going to come here to waste our time, don’t come at all.” Akashi’s voice is firm, like a command.

It must be a command.

“You know what, _fine_ ,” Kise growls and storms off of the court, grabbing his bag on his way. He doesn’t have to deal with Akashi’s holier than thou attitude anymore. He’s sick of the Generation of goddamned Miracles. It would be so much easier without them sometimes.

“Kise!”

Aomine’s gruff voice calling for Kise makes him whirl around. “ _What_ , Aomine?” He knows somewhere in the back of his mind that he shouldn’t be taking out his hurt on Aomine, but he can’t help it. He just wants to go home and bury his face in his pillow. Fuck the plans to get Kiyoshi and Hyuuga together–he needs some time away.

He looks taken aback by the lack of a nickname. Aomine takes another step towards Kise and shakes his head. “Akashi didn’t mean it.”

“He means everything he says.”

“So you had an off day! Who cares?”

“I do!” Kise cries. He throws his hands up. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“ _Kise_ –“

“You don’t even need me here to play! Kagamicchi’s your real challenge anyway! Just play against him.” It hurts acknowledging it out loud, but it feels true. The silence that follows is confirmation enough. Kise nods. “See, it’s true. You know it is.” Kise turns away. He needs to get far away from here.

Aomine reaches out and tries to get his attention. He gets a hand on his shoulder, but Kise shakes him off. “Kise–“

“Leave me _alone_ , Aomine.” Kise huffs and later, when he’s actually alone, he doesn’t feel relieved. He only feels numb.

He doesn’t have any text messages.

***

He doesn’t go next Friday or the week after that. He gets information about their summer training camp, the last one Kasamatsu will be running before they announce a new captain from the class of upcoming third years, and tries to just steer clear of the Generation of Miracles.

_Rikoヮクd(*^0^*)dヮク:So I guess Junpei and Teppei are together now. Apparently Aomine said something that made Junpei afraid to lose him and he confessed._

Kise wonders what Aomine said, but he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care. He texts her back a message assuring her he’s happy for them and then finishes his packing for the upcoming training camp. He’s weary from so many shoots they’ve crammed into his schedule in the past few days, but Kise’s excited to get three weeks just for his team.

 

Kasamatsu and Imayoshi

Kise has absolutely no idea if Kasamatsu likes guys. He seems at least somewhat interested in guys, if glances at muscles in a locker room prove anything. Kise just wants some kind of confirmation before he tries to set Kasamatsu up with the eel from Tōō. He almost feels like he’s throwing Kasamatsu to the wolves.

The first two weeks of the training camp go smoothly. He doesn’t know how he’s going to get them together, most because they never see each other. Kise feels like he’s been much too lucky up to this point because that night, Takeuchi begrudgingly announces that their camp has been double-booked for the next week due to a mistake on a receptionist’s part. They’ll now be sharing their dorms and gym with the Tōō team.

Kise now has seven days to get Kasamatsu and Imayoshi together. He also realizes that he has seven days to deal with Aomine, who hasn’t talked to him since their fight a month ago. Kise should probably try to talk to him this week, but he knows he’s going to be too invested in getting Kasamatsu and Imayoshi together. Their brief interactions that Kise witnessed on the court were always charged with sexual tension. It’s not his imagination! It’s true!

Tōō arrives two hours later, led by coach Harasawa. Kise’s not surprised to see Aomine trailing in at the very end, earbuds firmly giving him an aura of “don’t talk to me.” His eyes seek out Kise immediately and when their gazes lock, it’s like Kise’s chest is set on fire. It an unfamiliar feeling, one Kise isn’t really ready to deal with. He looks away first.

He’s not at all surprised to see Imayoshi in the role of assistant coach. He’s in a button down and cargo shorts, which _is_ a little surprising, since Kise has only ever seen him in a basketball uniform. He greets Kasamatsu with a slippery smile and Kise makes his way into the locker room to refill his water bottle.

“Kise,” the all too familiar, deep voice rumbles behind him. Kise turns around and Aomine is much closer than he anticipated, barely a foot away. Kise chokes on a small gasp and tries to take a step back, only to have the water fountain dig into his lower back.

“Aomine…cchi,” Kise says, tacking on the endearment at the end after a few moments of internal deliberation. Something akin to worry slips off of Aomine’s face and instead he just looks pissed.

“You avoided me for a month.” Aomine steps even closer to Kise. He’s only an inch and a half taller than Kise, but Kise has to tilt his head up to look at Aomine. He feels small, like he’s a child being reprimanded.

“You didn’t try to contact me either,” Kise murmurs. Aomine growls and opens his mouth to say something, but the locker room door bangs open and Kasamatsu and Imayoshi take in the scene before them.

“Hey!” Kasamatsu shouts. Aomine doesn’t back away, even though they have an audience now. Kise could drop dead and it’d be easier than this. “Get away from my kouhai, you bastard! He has another hour of training and you have to go find your dorm.”

Aomine finally takes a step back, but his expression promises that they’ll talk later. He gives Kise another smoldering glance and Kise slides towards Kasamatsu and the protection he’s offering.

“This isn’t over,” Aomine promises with a dark tone to his voice. Kise follows Kasamatsu out the door back to the gym and when he looks back, Aomine is still staring.

***

Kise flops onto his bed that night, weary and drained. He wants to get a good night’s sleep, but Hayakawa has the tendency to stay up later than Kise wants. Kise buries his face in his pillow and thinks. How’s he going to get them together? If Akashi and Kuroko were a challenge, they’re nothing compared to Kasamatsu and Imayoshi. He doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s never even had a conversation with Imayoshi. That’s where he should start, then.

His phone chimes from his suitcase and he drags himself off of his bed to check it.

_Daiki(✿ฺ◕ฺ‿◕ฺ): we need to talk meet me at the outside court in fifteen_

Kise really wants to sleep, but he also wants to get the conversation he knows they have to have over with. He throws on one of the jerseys Kasamatsu gave him over his bare torso and makes his way down to the court.

When he gets there, Aomine’s leaning on the wooden fence. His arms are crossed across his chest and how has Kise never noticed how buff he was before? There are people on the court, but they probably can’t see Kise and Aomine.

“Kise,” Aomine says. He doesn’t sound angry anymore.

“Aominecchi!” Kise greets. He peeks his head over to see who’s on the court, but when he sees Kasamatsu and Imayoshi, he accidentally smacks Aomine’s bicep with a flail of his arm. He pulls Aomine over and hides him behind the fence. Kise pokes his head out so he can watch their one-on-one.

“Oi, what–“

“Shh!” Kise chides, putting his hand over Aomine’s mouth. He feels the rumble of Aomine’s growl on his palm and it reverberates all the way down Kise’s spine. He holds back a shiver and jerks a thumb towards the court. “I don’t want them to hear us.”

“Why?”

“They’ll know we’re here, Ahominecchi!” Kise whispers.

“So?”

Kise shakes his head. “I don’t want to interrupt them. Let’s talk by the dorm building.” Aomine agrees and they walk in silence. Kise puts his hands in his pockets and kicks a rock.

“Are you wearing Kasamatsu’s jersey?”

“Yeah, he gave it to me after he graduated.” They reach a picnic table and Kise sits on the top, putting his feet on the seat. “Okay, what do you need to talk to me about?”

“You avoided me for a month, Kise,” Aomine says. He takes a step closer and suddenly he’s in between Kise’s legs, looking down at him with a heated stare.

“Akashicchi told me not to come back,” Kise replies. He wants to look down, to pull his eyes away from Aomine’s, but he finds himself locked in Aomine’s gaze. He can’t look away from the sapphire eyes boring into his.

“So you avoided me?”

“You didn't try to talk to me either!” Kise snaps.

“You told me to leave you alone!” Aomine puts his hands on Kise’s thighs and leans in farther. In a low voice, Aomine asks, “How was I supposed to know you wanted to talk to me?”

Kise frowns. “You’re one of my best friends, why wouldn’t I want to talk to you? I was upset when I said that!”

“Friends,” Aomine repeats. “Yeah.” He looks away first, breaking the strange connection between them. When Aomine looks back up a few seconds later, there’s a peculiar expression on his face. “Kise– _Ryouta_ , I–“

“Aomine, _back off my kouhai_ ,” Kasamatsu’s voice says, ringing out though the courtyard. Aomine reels back and he looks like he’s been caught on a crime scene. Kise leans to his right and sees Kasamatsu and Imayoshi. Imayoshi’s lazily dribbling a basketball and Kasamatsu looks furious.

“Senpai!” Kise cries.

“Well this looks cozy,” Imayoshi comments, usual smirk playing on his lips. “What were you two doing?”

“Nothing!” Aomine shouts. “We were talking!” Kise can’t see his face, but his shoulders look tense and Kasamatsu takes a step forward like he’s going in for the kill.

“Now, now. Don’t hurt my poor kouhai for preying on yours, Yukio. All’s fair in love and war.” Kise can't begin to process what Imayoshi just said. 

Kasamatsu turns his glare on Imayoshi. “Imayoshi, _shut up_.”

“It’s almost curfew,” Imayoshi says with a glance to his watch. “You two should head up to your dorms.”

“Alone,” Kasamatsu snarls. Kise stands and when he gets a good look at Aomine’s face, his cheeks are tinted pink with a faint blush. He looks adorable.

“Let them go, Yukio.” Imayoshi puts a hand on Kasamatsu’s waist, which Kasamatsu doesn’t shake off. Kise eyes the hand for a long moment before he shrugs.

“Let’s go, Aominecchi.” Kise gets a hand around his wrist and pulls him to the door. When they get inside, Kise hides behind the doorway and pulls Aomine with him against the wall. Aomine huffs, but doesn’t question him. Kise looks out the window.

Imayoshi has his arms around Kasamatsu’s waist, but they’re not kissing. Kasamatsu looks pissed and Imayoshi is smiling fondly down at Kasamatsu. Kasamatsu pushes Imayoshi off and stalks towards the building.

“The closet,” Kise hisses. “He’s coming _get in the closet get in the closet_.” Kise pushes Aomine into the little closet for janitorial supplies and when Kise situates himself and gets the door shut, he hears the door to the dorm open. His entire back is pressed against Aomine’s chest and one of Aomine's huge hands are on his waist, gripping him tightly. Kise wants to press back, but then he realizes that he’s not the important one right then–Kasamatsu and Imayoshi are.

“If you ever want a real match, you know where to find me, Yukio.”

Kasamatsu laughs. “Please. You’re hardly a real match, Shoichi.”

“I’ll show you what a real match is.” It’s silent for a while, until Kise hears Kasamatsu groan and he shakes his head with a soft, fond chuckle.

“So we’re stuck in here until they’re done making out,” Kise whispers. He turns around and it was a _horrible_ idea. He’s pressed completely against Aomine, from their hips all the way up. If Kise just tilted his head up a little, he could kiss–

_Not going there._

Kise squirms a little and he’s just full of horrible ideas tonight. His hips grind up against Aomine’s and Aomine gasps a little. He grunts out Kise’s name and suddenly Aomine’s hand is on his lower back, dangerously close to the swell of Kise’s ass. Kise desperately wants his hand to go farther down, grab his ass and pull his hips closer so that Kise can’t escape. Aomine turns his face down and gets impossibly closer. Kise’s eyes slide shut.

Aomine’s phone rings.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Aomine says. He lets go of Kise like he’s a hot coal and checks who’s calling him. Sighing, Aomine answers. “Bakagami.” Oh yeah, Kise’s supposed to get them together next. He feels slimy, like he's been close to a fish or something. Aomine is Kise's next project. It felt wrong thinking about it before and it feels wrong thinking about it now, too.

The door swings open and Kasamatsu stands there, eyes blazing with fury. “Kise!”

“Uh. Hi, senpai,” Kise replies weakly.

“Go to your dorm. _Now_.” Kise straightens his shirt and, belatedly, thinks that his walk of shame didn’t even include the fun part.

At least Kasamatsu and Imayoshi are already together. He counts it as a victory.

 

 

Aomine and Kagami

Kise has six more days at a training camp with Aomine. Honestly, Kise will probably only see Aomine for a practice match on the final day. Their schedules only sync up with their lights out hours and they’re on different floors of the building. After their close encounter in the closet, Kise’s reluctant to see Aomine anyway.

He _likes_ Aomine. He likes _Aomine_. Kise’s not sure if he feels numb or nauseous. He’s also confused because, fuck, Aomine wanted to kiss him. Kise knows when people want to kiss him. Aomine wanted to kiss Kise, but instead he answered a phone call from Kagami. It’s a blow to his ego.

Kise can see where the chemistry would come from. Kagami and Aomine are evenly matched; they go toe-to-toe without much effort on their parts. Kagami’s someone that could keep Aomine interested, unlike Kise.

It hurts, but it makes sense. Aomine probably just wanted to kiss him because of their precarious position in the closet. That’s it. There’s nothing there on Aomine’s end. In the end, it’s just how close they were getting the better of Aomine. It’s going to feel horrible, but Kise can deal with getting then together if it makes Aomine happy. That’s all he wants.

And if Kagami is the one who will make him happy, so be it.

***

Kise feels like he’s in a daze for the next few days. He doesn’t talk to Aomine, only seeing him in passing. He doesn’t have any texts from him either. It just solidifies the notion that what happened was a huge mistake. He feels terrible, like a zombie going through his routine.

Even Kasamatsu notices. He doesn’t explicitly say anything, but on the last day of camp, he stands at the end of their practice match and presents Hayakawa with the official number four jersey. After all the pleasantries are exchanged, Kasamatsu names Kise vice captain. It pulls Kise out of his funk a little. Honestly, Kise’s shocked. He didn’t expect to be named anything. He grins and instead of shaking Kasamatsu’s hand, he pulls him in for a tight hug.

“Thank you, Kasamatsu-senpai,” Kise says into his ear.

The arms around him tighten and he says, “You might be a little shit, but you care. You’ll be a good captain someday, Kise.” He pulls away and smiles. “And if not, I’ll come back and kick your ass.”

For the first time in days, Kise laughs. “Sounds like my senpai.”

Kise texts Riko and tells her who the new captain is and that he’s now vice captain. He looks up from his phone and Aomine’s sanding in front of him, looming. Aomine doesn’t smile, but he does say, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Aominecchi!” Kise chirps. He’s done dealing with what happened in the closet. He’s going to forget about it and move on, for his own sake.

Aomine rubs the back of his neck. “Listen, about what happened–“

“Don’t worry about it, Aominecchi,” Kise says. He smiles. “It was a mistake. I understand.”

“I– What?”

“No hard feelings.” Kise gives him the model smile again and it all feels fake, fake, fake.

Aomine shakes his head and tries to step into Kise’s space. “I don’t think you understand.”

“No, I do! I totally get it, Aominecchi. It was a mistake. I know that we’re not– That you don’t–“

Hayakawa swoops in like a savior and wraps an arm around Kise’s shoulder. “Kise! You’re a senpai now!” Hayakawa steers Kise away and he throws an apologetic look back over his shoulder at Aomine.

After the commotion dies down, they’re all told to clear our their dorms and make their way to the buses. Kise sends Aomine a goodbye text and tells him to enjoy the rest of his training camp. He watches out the window for the majority of the ride home and when he gets a text back from Aomine, it’s not what he was expecting.

_Daiki(✿ฺ◕ฺ‿◕ฺ): no wait have you left yet_

_You: Yeah, I’m already gone. The bus left ten minutes ago. (◎-◎；)_

_Daiki(✿ฺ◕ฺ‿◕ฺ): shit can i call you tonight or whatever i have to tell you something_

_You: I’ll call you when I get off the bus then (●＾曲＾●)_

Kise spends the rest of the ride listening to music. When he gets home, he’s exhausted. He collapses and calls Aomine while he’s laying face first on his bed. It rings five times before Aomine’s gruff voice tells Kise to leave a voicemail.

“Fuck that,” Kise says. He hangs up.

***

Kise meets up with Kagami and Kuroko a few days later during the afternoon for lunch. He has a shoot that evening (a shirtless shoot, which always makes Kise feel uncomfortable and empowered at the same time) so he can really only meet up with them for an hour.

Kise really doesn’t want to be subtle anymore. He’s sick of Aomine being weird.

“Who does Aominecchi like?” Kise asks, sipping on his water. He’s not allowed to eat or drink carbs before a shoot.

“Kise-kun?” Kuroko asks, genuinely shocked even if it doesn’t register on his featureless face.

“I want to set him up with someone.”

“Bahaha!” Kagami guffaws. “Ahomine’s too selfish to date anyone! The only one who can kiss me is me,” Kagami says in a downright awful impression of Aomine’s voice. “The only one who can hug me is me. The only one who can fuck me is–“

“ _Thank_ you, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko interrupts. Kise’s ears burn red and the thought of Aomine fucking himself. God, he’s in too deep with this baka. He shivers a little and he’s pretty sure Kuroko doesn’t miss it. Hopefully he thinks it’s out of horror and not arousal.

“Who would even date him?” Kagami asks through a mouth of burger.

“You?” Kise suggests. He patiently sips his water while Kuroko hits Kagami’s back as he chokes on a hamburger.

“What the hell! No! I–I– _Baka_! I wouldn’t date that aho! Oh my god. What the fuck, Kise?”

“Kise-kun.” Kuroko looks shocked, even Kise can tell. “Why would you suggest that?”

Kise twirls his water bottle in his hands. He can’t meet their eyes. “I don’t know. I just think they’d be a good match, y’know? Keep each other on their toes.”

“And put each other in our _graves_. Seriously, we’d kill each other,” Kagami says. “He can’t stand me and it’s one hundred percent mutual.”

“You two seem happy playing basketball together.”

“It’s _basketball_ ,” Kagami huffs. The sad thing is that it actually explains a lot.

“You’re evenly matched with pretty much everything,” Kise mutters. He might be pouting a little. It sucks having to say this out loud.

Kagami cries, “Why would I want to date myself?”

“I don’t know!” Kise barks. He stands and checks his watch. “I have to get to a shoot. Forget I said anything.”

“Kise-kun,” Kuroko says. “Don’t–“

“Bye, Kurokocchi, Kagamicchi.” Kise tells himself he doesn’t run out of Maji Burger, but he pretty much does. He has two hours until his shoot. He props himself up on the side of a building out of sight and does not cry. He doesn’t.

***

Two days later, Kise’s lounging around his empty home in nothing but his boxers. He’s already two months into his summer break. He really just wants to sleep for the rest of it. He feels like an idiot after being so direct with his matchmaking for Aomine and Kagami. He’s gotten few worried text messages from Kuroko since then and one from Kagami telling him it was a stupid idea, but he’s not angry.

There’s a loud knock on his door. If knocks could sound angry, this one would. Kise looks through the peephole and reels back.

Aomine is on his doorstep.

“Kise Ryouta, let me in right now,” Aomine snarls through the door. “I know you’re inside.”

“I’m not wearing clothes, Aominecchi. Hold on.” Kise hears Aomine yell his name again, but he retreats. He locks himself in his room. Kise sits on his bed and tries not to freak out. Aomine is on his doorstep. Aomine is at his house. Aomine is _here_.

He hears the door bang open. Kise’s aware, distantly, that Aomine’s pretty much breaking into his house, but he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t want to see him. He just wants Aomine to leave and go back home.

“Kise,” Aomine’s voice nastily snaps through the door. “Let me _in_ , dammit.”

Kise stands and pulls on a pair of sweatpants, but forgoes the shirt. Aomine’s probably going to punch him anyway. He found out. Fuck, someone told him Kise likes him and he’s here to punch him.

When Kise opens his bedroom door, Aomine looks enraged. He hasn’t seen him this angry since Kise met up with Aomine after he punched Haizaki. Kise puts his hands up and Aomine exhales through his nose. He sounds like an angry bull.

“Why did you tell Bakagami that we should date?” Aomine asks. His expression is stormy. Kise wants to curl in his bed and hide from this Aomine.

“I–“

“What the _fuck_ , Kise?” Aomine says, plowing through what Kise was going to say. “Seriously?”

“I’ve been trying to get everyone together,” Kise admits. He looks down at the carpet and tries not to flinch under what he’s sure is Aomine’s seething stare. “I just wanted to do something useful for everyone!” Kise looks up and meets Aomine’s eye. “You and Kagami were the last ones left.”

Aomine doesn’t look as incensed anymore, but he still doesn’t look happy. “So that’s why everyone got their shit together this summer? Himuro and Murasakibara?”

“I made Murasakibaracchi jealous.”

“Takao and Midorima?”

“Brought the booty shorts on purpose.”

“Akashi and Tetsu?”

“I planned on getting everyone to play spin the bottle. Worked out pretty well.”

“Hyuuga and Kiyoshi?”

“Well, that was really you. I guess you said something and made Hyuuga confess.”

“Why was _this_ your plan for the summer? Get everyone together? Why?”

Kise makes a confused noise. “I don’t know. I’m sick of everyone being oblivious and I was sick of my friends being sad because they’re not with the one that have feelings for. Like Takao. He’s liked Midorima for years. And Kuroko and Akashi. It’s just sad.”

“You– Baka!” Aomine says again. He steps closer and says, “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“A-Aominecchi?” Kise stammers, but Aomine swoops in and presses his lips against Kise’s. His lips are a little chapped and he’s not as soft as a girl, but it’s good. It’s better than good. Kise whimpers and puts his hands on Aomine’s face, holding him close. He’s wanted this for so long and he really never thought he’d get it.

Aomine has one hand on Kise’s waist, holding his hips close, and another on his bare chest. Kise bites Aomine’s bottom lip a little and he feels blunt nails dig into his chest. Kise finds that he likes that _a lot_.

Aomine pulls away and his pupils are blown wide. Kise wants to kiss him again, see what kinds of sounds he can make Aomine emit, but they have to talk about this first.

“Aominecchi,” Kise murmurs. He brushes a thumb over Aomine’s cheek and Aomine leans into his touch. Kise feels dizzy.

“If anyone’s oblivious, it’s you,” Aomine whispers. He dips down and slips out of Kise’s hold. He starts kissing Kise’s neck and Kise lets out a soft moan and moves his hands so that they’re in Aomine’s hair, holding him there. Miki might get mad at him, but he wants marks everywhere.

“Me?” Kise asks. He thinks back to a lot of their previous exchanges. The first thing his traitorous mind thinks of is the text where Aomine called him pretty. “So you really weren’t making fun of my looks. You actually think I’m pretty.” Kise smiles at Aomine fondly when he pulls away.

“What the hell? You’re gorgeous. Why would I make fun of you for how you look? You _absolute baka_.”

“And you weren’t hung up on how Takao looked in the shorts, were you? You were imagining me in them.” Kise is almost gleeful.

“Oh my god, shut up.”

“Mmm, make me,” Kise purrs. He lets a hand run down Aomine’s back and when it grazes over Aomine’s ass, Aomine pushes Kise back onto his bed. Kise’s laughter is cut off when Aomine captures his mouth again.

***

Kise doesn’t play basketball with them again on Friday. But Saturday morning, he has texts from Murasakibara, Takao, Kuroko, and Hyuuga all saying thank you. Kise blushes a little when he realizes what they’re thanking him for. Aomine must’ve said something.

He also has two texts from Akashi, one telling him to come back and the other telling him not to get involved in his love life again.

And if he has a text from his new boyfriend, well, that’s not a surprise.

**Author's Note:**

> now we know what i've been doing instead of my aoki challenge............... 
> 
> my tumblr is pessimisticprose 
> 
> come follow pls for more fic and feel free to talk and head canon and flirt with me i'm so down for all


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